


Neuland

by PKA



Series: The Neu Series [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Levi's and Erwin's Room, M/M, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, relationship progression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PKA/pseuds/PKA
Summary: Levi enjoys a pleasant summer evening. Erwin invites him back for tea.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Series: The Neu Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1398637
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70





	Neuland

Night settled over the meadow. The wind, soft when they had arrived in the afternoon, picked up slowly, rushing through the grass. The trees swayed with it, leaves rustling. A lonely bird chirped in the distance. Cicadas had picked up their song.

Hange’s animated voice was but another background noise in Levi’s relaxed state. Neither Nanaba, Mike, Moblit, Erwin or himself were people of many words, and so Hange had, as usual, dominated the conversation. No one had minded. The two bottles of wine Mike had brought with him had long been emptied.

Levi’s head was pleasantly empty, his senses focused on the beauty of nature around him. They weren’t far from the HQ—duty would call them back tomorrow—but for today, they had gathered here to spend a pleasant evening together. It was a rare opportunity, and Levi cherished it.

Soon, it would get too cold and dark for them to stay. Even here, time ticked away relentlessly.

Hange still was talking. But from the corner of his eye, Levi could see Erwin looking at him instead.

“What are you staring at?” he asked, turning to face him.

“Nothing,” Erwin replied, a smile tugging at his lips. “You just looked… happy.”

“I was before I had to look at your shitty face,” Levi said, but even he was aware it lacked his usual bite.

He _was_ happy. Being outside like this still held novelty for him, and his gratitude only increased after each survived expedition.

Erwin still looked at him, and he still looked at Erwin. His hair had become unruly from the wind. The casual blue polo shirt he wore made him look his age much more than their uniform. In the half-dark, he almost looked like a stranger, his features more pronounced; bushy brows and ridiculous nose. And yet, Levi couldn’t tear his eyes from him.

“I love seeing you like this,” Erwin said, quietly, just for Levi’s ears to hear.

His statement evoked something in Levi he couldn’t quite name, a feeling Erwin became better and better in triggering. Levi had experienced it the first few times he had tried the vertical maneuvering equipment. A pang of excitement, his stomach jumping. He still debated whether it was pleasant or not.

Something cold touched Levi’s hand and he looked down to see Erwin’s fingers shyly placed upon his own. Levi looked over to the others. Nanaba and Mike still seemed interested in whatever Hange had been going on about. As for Moblit, Levi had yet to see him not look at Hange with the most absurd heart-eyes. In the cover of the dark, Levi linked their hands, sharing his warmth with Erwin.

“We should have tea at your place later,” Levi said. 

Erwin, the smug bastard, simply nodded, giving his hand a squeeze.

~ - ~

They had barely closed the door behind them before Erwin had two of Levi’s shirt buttons opened, peppering kisses down his throat and clavicle. He took him by the waist and let him to the bed, sitting down and pulling Levi on top of him, still working on unbuttoning his shirt.

“Levi,” Erwin murmured against his skin. His tone made Levi’s stomach lurch once more.

Levi hit him on the head with his fist. “You can’t be that drunk from half a bottle of wine.”

“I’m happy.” He kissed Levi’s clavicle again, breathed him in. After a moment of silence, he asked, self-aware again now, “Am I allowed to be?”

Levi knew just what he meant. He took his head between his hands, forcing Erwin to look at him. With his thumbs, Levi traced the forming wrinkles around his eyes. He kissed Erwin deeply then, leaving them both breathless by the end.

“You’re supposed to be,” Levi said. “Isn’t that what you told me when we started going down this path? Live life to the fullest for those who aren’t here to witness it?”

He gave Erwin another kiss, tender and affectionate, his hands buried in his short hair. “It may feel wrong to be so content,” he said, his eyes closed, lips mere inches from Erwin’s. “But fuck it if we don’t deserve this shit from time to time. Enjoy it while it lasts, Erwin.”

Erwin chased his lips again and they clashed together, hungrily. His arms wrapped around Levi’s hips, pulling him ever closer. 

“Stay here, tonight?” Erwin asked.

“Tch.”

Erwin smiled. “Is that a yes?”

Levi could already feel Erwin pressing up against him. “You old pervert, I didn’t even get my tea yet.”

In fact, they hadn’t even lit a lamp. Only the moon illuminated Erwin’s room and the two men in it.

“Would you prefer getting some now?” Erwin asked, burying his face in Levi’s neck, kissing all the right spots.

“Mmmh, maybe afterwards.”

Erwin pulled back and looked at his face intently, his teasing momentarily forgotten. Levi wasn’t sure how much he could see in the dark, but Erwin seemed to search his face for something.

“Are you sure?” Erwin asked.

“Could you decide which mood you’re in already? You’re such a pain in the ass,” Levi snarled.

Erwin’s sudden mindfulness formed a cluster of nervousness in Levi’s stomach. They hadn’t taken this step yet. But Levi would have preferred to not make a big deal out of it, let it develop as naturally as the things that had come before.

It had been a couple of weeks since the beginning of this, of them. A couple of weeks in which they had moved from handholding to shy goodnight kisses after dinner to elongated tongue kissing on Erwin’s bed to Levi dry-humping Erwin’s thigh until he came in his pants.

That last one had been just a few days ago. Levi still remembered it vividly; the way Erwin’s fingers had brushed over his naked waist and hips over and over again, the faintest of touches over his lower spine. Tickling, but not quite, until Levi had started rocking against him, grinding against Erwin through three layers of clothes.

Fucking mess those stains had been.

“Let me light a candle,” Erwin said.

Levi moved from his lap, sitting down on Erwin’s bed. The sheets became more and more familiar under his fingertips. He traced the linen, ignoring the bundle of nerves in his stomach.

“Hurry the fuck up.”

Erwin lit three candles on his desk, draping the room in soft orange light. It flickered against the stone wall, drawing long shadows over the floor. When he returned to the bed, Levi was almost surprised by his sight. He was still fully dressed in his casual attire, but half-hard in his pants. He wore the dumbest expression Levi had seen on him yet.

“You look like you just had the best shit of your life.”

“You get quite charming when you’re nervous,” Erwin replied, seating himself next to Levi.

Sometimes it really pissed Levi off how well Erwin knew him. He swallowed another insult, not wanting to give Erwin the satisfaction of being right. Instead he said, “So, are we going to do this or what?”

Erwin opened his hand, showing Levi what he had brought with him: a tiny jar with, what Levi assumed to be, oil.

“Figures you’d be prepared,” Levi said, throat dry.

Erwin placed the jar on the heap of books next to the bed. Then he was all over Levi again, pushing him backwards until he lay on the mattress, Erwin hovering above.

Levi tugged on his polo shirt. “You’re too dressed.”

“The same could be said about you.”

Righting himself, Erwin pulled his shirt over his head, exposing the skin beneath.

Levi had seen him shirtless before, of course. Expeditions beyond the wall weren’t a particularly private affair. But he had never seen him like this, candlelight cracking on his abs, his eyes blue fire, all skin and flesh and Levi’s to touch.

Levi reached out and placed a hand over his heart. He felt it beating beneath his palm in a powerful, steady rhythm. His hand wandered lower, over the hard muscles of Erwin’s stomach all the way to the trail of hair disappearing in his pants. Levi’s other hand finished the work Erwin had started, opening the buttons of his own shirt.

Erwin tracked his movements. For a moment, they were both subject to each other’s scrutiny. Erwin made no move to touch him, waiting, as usual, for Levi’s consent.

“It’s fine,” Levi said eventually. “Come closer.”

Placing his elbows to the sides of Levi’s head, Erwin lowered himself until their torsos were skin to skin, bodily warmth intermingling. They both made a breathy sound, and then they were kissing again, wet and fiery. Levi could feel the contours of Erwin’s body pressing against him, his cock rubbing against his upper leg, one of his hands snaking around him, finding its way beneath Levi’s shirt. 

“You’re gonna crumple my clothes,” Levi said against his mouth. Erwin, of course, did not care. Lost in the feeling of Erwin’s skin beneath his hands and against his upper body, Levi felt his mind easing. He needed more of it.

“Clothes off,” he said. And when Erwin still didn’t react, “Now.”

Unwillingly, Erwin parted with him. His breathing was quicker now, his pupils dilated. He looked down onto Levi again, apparently enjoying the sight. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Levi said, impatience getting the better of him. He sat up underneath Erwin and pulled artlessly at his pants until they popped open with a satisfying giving of pressure. Meanwhile, Erwin brushed Levi’s shirt down his shoulders, exposing his arms to cool air and Erwin's heated gaze. In their current position, this was as far as Levi could get to pulling Erwin’s pants off. That just wouldn't do.

“Move,” Levi told him, taking the opportunity to discard his own shirt. He folded it briefly in the air and lay it beneath the bed. Making a mental note of ironing it in the morning, he opened his own pair of trousers. Erwin had gone down on his haunches now, kneeling before Levi. He pulled his pants further down, moved next to Levi on the small bed and stretched his legs to finally get rid of them entirely. Without Erwin’s weight on top of him, Levi could tilt his hips upwards, removing his trousers and socks in one swift motion. Those went onto the pile next to the bed as well, as neatly as Levi’s swindling patience allowed. He grabbed Erwin’s pair of pants out of his grasp and gave them the same treatment, folding them briefly.

“Socks,” Levi reminded him, and promptly, Erwin took those off as well. When they settled again, they were both in only their underwear. 

“Better?” Erwin asked.

“Mmh.”

They lay next to each other now, Erwin’s head propped up on his right hand. The bed was so narrow that to lay comfortable, Levi’s left arm pressed against Erwin’s chest. After a moment of silent eye contact, Erwin finally reached out to touch him.

Just the tips of Erwin’s fingers ran over his skin, the softest of explorations, a bare whisper of a touch. Erwin was full of shit, Levi realized, and at least as nervous as Levi himself, albeit for different reasons.

“Erwin,” Levi said, his voice calming. “I’m not made of glass.”

“I’m aware,” Erwin answered, fingers catching on one of Levi’s scars.

Levi blinked up at him. Erwin’s gaze was lost on Levi’s body, trailing the path of his fingers. Levi reached out to turn his face toward him. “I’ll let you know if it becomes too much.” Admitting that that was a possibility was hard enough.

With a nod, Erwin showed he understood. Levi pulled him closer by his hair until their lips were touching again. Suddenly, Erwin’s palm lay flat on Levi, continuing his exploration in much broader strokes. Levi sighed against his mouth, which further spurred him on.

Erwin’s hands were big and warm, his fingers calloused. His grip, while still tender, got more and more demanding. Breaking away from their kiss to catch some air, Levi tilted his head back. He felt wet kisses travelling down his throat, the first traces of stubble rasping against his skin.

With his eyes kept close, Levi felt Erwin eagerly kiss whichever spot he could reach. Over his Adam’s apple and the hollow of his throat, to his clavicle and further down his sternum. He stopped there for a moment, face right above his heart. Levi reached out to comb his fingers through Erwin’s hair, playing with the longer strands, messing it further. His heart beat loud and fast; he was sure Erwin could hear it.

Being so close to anyone was unfamiliar. Perhaps it was the vulnerability of it that frightened Levi the most. But this wasn’t like it had been in the Underground, with danger lurking around each corner, where every shown opening was an invitation for trouble. This wasn’t like what his mother had done for a living, a transaction, a service, an inadvertent necessity. Levi was here, in Erwin’s bed, because he wanted to be. He wanted to be touched by him and touch him in turn. The trust and admiration he held for this man almost frightened him.

His train of thought got interrupted when Erwin took one of his nipples into his mouth, lighting his nerve endings on fire. Levi’s mouth opened on a silent sigh while Erwin licked and sucked and let him feel just the edge of his teeth. His hands continued to roam Levi’s body, teasing his other nipple, moving down, down, down until one of them came to rest upon his crotch, slow strokes that Levi could feel through the fabric and his entire body. 

Erwin sighed against him, and for once, Levi didn’t have a snarky comment to hurl at him. Instead, he took two fistfuls of Erwin’s hair and dragged his head up to him, kissed him fiercely. Erwin squeezed his hand and Levi moaned, bucking his hips to get closer. Later, he wouldn’t remember how it happened, but suddenly they were lying sideways, facing each other, and Levi struggled out of his underwear, carelessly kicking it off to the side of the bed. In his immediate, unquenchable need for more, Levi reached for Erwin too, sneaking his hands beneath his waistband, grabbing his plush ass and pulling the last bit of clothing off his body as well. They were still kissing, more passionate than they’d ever been, lost in each other with no urge to ever reemerge. Erwin shrugged the underwear off his long legs and then he was on top of Levi again, moving against him and oh, this did feel nice. Levi let his hands roam over his broad back, surprisingly smooth and scarless, and then he crossed his legs over Erwin’s pelvis, pushing him further down.

It wasn’t the most comfortable position—Erwin was simply too large for their parts to align perfectly, but it felt nice nonetheless. He was like a blanket on top of Levi, his warmth encapsulating him. A cocktail of emotion flooded Levi, the pressure and heat and unfathomable touch of another against him so unfamiliar and intoxicating that he wondered how he’d ever lived without it. Erwin thrust against him just so, grinding experimentally a couple of times, starting lazily because eternity was theirs right now. He moaned then, for the first time, and it was such an unabashed displayal of passion that it sent shivers down Levi’s spine. The heady mix of happiness, lust and affection made him grin despite himself. He hid his face in Erwin’s shoulder, breathing in his unique scent. He smelled like air and grass and wood. He smelled like freedom.

After Erwin’s initial thrusts, he stilled. For a long time, they simply held onto each other. Levi would have been content to stay this way, pinned to the bed by Erwin’s frame, getting used to the feeling of his body against him until they coalesced into one. But the air was still heavy with more: this short rest was simply a calm before the storm, a process of getting to know each other before the immediacy of the moment would catch up with them again. After some time, Erwin turned them to the side, Levi’s legs still loosely wrapped around him. They had both gone soft, Levi realized with a glance downwards, although he could still feel the tingle of arousal in his lower belly. He couldn’t quite tear his eyes from Erwin. It must have been one of the most intimate things to show another person. Nakedness meant being unprotected. It required trust. Levi felt the urge to reach out and touch Erwin’s cock, so soft and vulnerable, and see if he could coax it to hardness again, the most obvious and honest indicator that he was wanted.

Levi met Erwin’s eyes. His thoughts must have translated onto his face, for Erwin simply nodded, encouraging him. Levi wished he could read Erwin as easily as he read him; he wanted to know exactly what he was thinking. His eyes shone brightly. He looked like Levi felt—happy.

Touching a cock that wasn’t his own was a somewhat surreal experience. Levi grazed Erwin with his knuckles first before becoming bolder. He traced his length with the tips of his fingers, delighted in the way Erwin slightly squirmed under the touch. He felt the blood rushing into Erwin's cock, felt the same happening to himself by proxy, Erwin's arousal translating onto him. Erwin grew in his hand and Levi felt an odd kind of pride at the sight. He doubled his efforts, tugged at him softly but insistently until Erwin was fully hard, with a bead of precum shining at his tip.

“Is that how you touch yourself?” Erwin asked. His breathing had become louder, half a moan on each exhale. The color of his skin had changed to a more reddish hue.

Levi nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Show me.”

Sex, Levi realized, was showing someone else the most private, embarrassing sides of oneself and hoping to be accepted, even reveled. It didn't make any rational sense for Erwin to be turned on by seeing Levi masturbate, but here they were, Erwin with such unashamed desire in his eyes and Levi, for some stupid reason, eager to please him.

Levi let go of Erwin and touched himself instead. Soft, tugging movements, slight pinches at the head, back to the base and up again. He sighed, trying to relax into the familiar feeling.

Erwin watched him with lust-clouded interest, eyes wandering from Levi's cock to his face and back again, gauging his reaction. 

“What?” Levi asked, uncomfortable by being watched so closely.

Erwin shook his head. “I’ll never be able to see you holding a teacup again without thinking of this.”

Levi scoffed, but Erwin kissed him again, and his mind emptied. When they parted, Levi could think of nothing but Erwin in the here and now, committing the sight of him to memory as he continued to touch himself.

They still lay entangled, but Erwin scooted even closer. He reached out to touch Levi's arm, felt the muscles work with Levi's movement. Then his hand travelled to Levi’s back, moving with the gentlest of touches, fingertips drawing patterns over his spine just like they had done on their last encounter. It made Levi shudder.

Erwin's hand wandered further down, over Levi's behind to the sensitive backside of his thighs and up again. He grabbed one of his cheeks and squeezed, grinning when Levi shot him an unnerved glance.

"Do you want to go this far?" Erwin asked. He moved his hand just a little to show what he meant, fingers almost reaching Levi's rim.

"You already brought the oil," Levi said, voice on the brink of wavering. "Don't pretend you didn't plan to fuck me in the ass."

Erwin touched his entrance then, and Levi had to focus really hard on not making any undignified noises. A part of him felt disgusted to be touched there, another was thrilled by the strangeness of it. Feeling Erwin rubbing against him, he couldn't imagine any part of him fitting inside.

"Don't stop," Erwin said.

For a moment, Levi had to wonder what he meant. Oh right. He had been touching himself. He picked up his languid strokes again, taking the edge off the excitement, while Erwin grabbed the jar laying behind them, skilfully opening it one-handed. The first brush of cool oil against his skin had Levi almost jump.

Erwin circled his hole with one finger, just a little pressure to his touch. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but Levi knew there was more to come. He tried relaxing into it, tried ignoring the thoughts about how unclean this was, how much of a mess they’d make of the bed, and instead find enjoyment in it. When Erwin breached him, he inhaled sharply, suddenly hyperaware of the sensation of another human being moving inside him.

Erwin took his time pushing further into him, giving Levi the opportunity to accustom himself. Even from just one finger Levi felt stretched and full, and he felt himself tensing up involuntarily. He gripped himself harder, but it wasn’t enough to tune out either the pain or the weirdness.

Erwin lifted up his chin with his free hand, making Levi look at him. He looked concerned, his brow furrowed.

“Are you alright, Levi?”

Levi hadn’t been aware that he had clenched his teeth until he tried to speak. “That feels weird as fuck.”

Erwin placed a soft kiss on his cheek before pulling out of him gradually. Levi took a long breath, anxiety ebbing.

“Not tonight, then, I take it,” Erwin said, wiping his hand on the sheets which earned him a quick jab to the abs from Levi. He took it with an apologetic chuckle. “Unless you want to try it the other way around?”

Levi looked at him, baffled. “You’d let me fuck you?”

It had, in all actuality, never even crossed his mind, but now that Erwin had suggested it, Levi’s mind was flooded with pictures. Erwin, laying on his stomach, hips canted backwards just so, looking back at him with a heated gaze, wanting Levi inside of him. His cock, having become neglected again, gave a little jump, supportive of the idea.

“If you’d be more comfortable with that arrangement, of course.”

Levi deliberated a moment. “Not... tonight,” he decided. He didn’t feel ready for this, not yet, not after all this, but he would tuck that thought away for later use. “Let’s try something different.”

“What do you have in mind?”

Levi started stroking himself again, encouraged by this new image in his head. He shifted slightly, making himself comfortable again. His leg slid against Erwin’s ass, and he pushed them further together, his knuckles now occasionally brushing against Erwin’s cock as well.

Erwin watched him, licking his lips. His mouth stayed open, red and inviting, and Levi stretched to give him a wet kiss, tongues dancing, heat and energy passing between them.

“Show me your version,” Levi murmured. “If it’s so different from mine.”

Erwin complied. He gazed at Levi so intensely that Levi had to look away, eyes trailing the path of Erwin’s hand. Erwin gripped himself tight, fist around his cock, and stroked himself from root to tip with a patience Levi wouldn’t have been capable of. Levi swallowed at the sight, overpowered by an abrupt, violent want. There was a carnality to Erwin’s way of touching himself without shame in front of him that heated up his skin.

Levi still felt Erwin’s gaze burning into his skin, but he avoided looking up, afraid of what he might find in his eyes. He watched Erwin’s ministrations instead, unhurried touches inviting him to look, luring him in. Levi’s mouth opened and closed on a request he couldn’t seem to voice, a longing for Erwin’s touch so raw and profound he wasn’t sure he could take it. He squeezed his own erection to ease the feeling, his prolonged hardness becoming almost painful.

"Levi," Erwin said, very gentle. "What do you need from me?"

Levi reached out to touch his wrist, showing instead of telling Erwin. Erwin stilled, but he didn't pull away to give Levi what he wanted.

"Say it," he said instead.

"Fuck you, Erwin."

Words weren't Levi's strength. Words meant making things real, opening up with the chance of being rejected. Erwin's need for confirmation pissed him off. He knew damn well what he wanted.

"Indulge me," Erwin said. "Please."

They were on the brink of starting a battle for power. Levi could almost see it before him: both unwavering, staring at each other until one of them—or neither—gave in. A frustrating end to the evening. A few months ago, it would have been like that. But these days, Levi's trust in their bond made him jump into the cold water.

"Touch me," he hissed, still not looking at Erwin's face. "The way you touch yourself."

His smile was audible regardless. Erwin was satisfied with making Levi admit his needs, satisfied with peeling back his layers, laying him bear. Levi wasn't sure what he was getting out of it.

"With pleasure."

Erwin's fist closed around him with no hesitation. Levi shut his eyes again, sighed, and focused. Erwin's hand was much bigger than his own, his grip stronger, less careful. Levi could distinguish the line of scar tissue in the inside of his palm from the rest of his skin, raised and less soft.

"Did you ever think of me while fapping?" Levi asked. He must have, involuntarily, when the scar was new. Or maybe Erwin wasn't one to relax like that often. Maybe his squad leader was so damn selfless that he had no need for masturbation.

Erwin laughed. "I think the answer to that could get me in trouble."

Levi blinked up at him. He wondered when Erwin had started thinking of him like this.

"I hope you didn't recruit me just to get a piece of that ass."

Erwin smiled at him fondly. Did he ever stop smiling when they were like this? But instead of answering him, Erwin began stroking him in earnest, and Levi's question was forgotten.

Levi bucked forward, eyes fluttering closed. He gripped onto Erwin’s shoulders, let his mouth open on a moan. The confident grasp around him only tightened further, pulled more noises out of him. It was embarrassing, really, but Erwin seemed to enjoy it. He could hear him swallow, heard his breathing increase despite not being touched himself. The unpredictability was what really did it, Levi mused. Erwin’s grip was slightly too tight, slightly too fast, the angle all wrong. Levi would have never touched himself like that and that’s what made it real, reminded him that it was Erwin who touched him, another human being made of flesh and blood who touched him just because it was mutually enjoyable. 

Levi reciprocated, reached out blindly for Erwin’s erection. It was so hot to the touch, so wet at the tip, and Erwin sighed for him so pleasantly. Levi’s hand explored further, over the soft skin of his inner thighs to the taut coolness of his balls. Touching him spurred Levi on further, not only because of Erwin’s vocal way of showing him he liked his touch, but because he genuinely liked the feeling of Erwin’s body. A part of him had feared, maybe, that he would find touching another man so intimately repulsive, but this was Erwin. And no part of Erwin, however sweaty and sticky, could ever be repulsive, because he was beautifully human. In fact, touching him like this still didn’t feel like enough, and so Levi shifted some more, brought their bodies impossibly closer, until they were flush together, one solid line with no space between them.

Erwin moaned against his hair, breath hot on his head. He gave Levi another squeeze before letting go of him, cocks sliding against each other with just the barest guidance of Levi’s fingers. Erwin pressed his hand against Levi’s back, tried to pull him even closer, and then he undulated his hips, causing friction.

"Fuck," Levi said against Erwin's throat. "Fuck, _fuck, Erwin_."

He received another moan in response, lower now, more drawn out. Levi kissed all the skin he could reach, open-mouthed, breathless, the taste of Erwin's sweat in his mouth, Erwin’s cock rubbing against his own, and he had to fight hard against the desire to bite, to bruise, to mark. Not for the world to see, he didn't give a fuck about that, just as a reminder to Erwin and himself. Erwin's nails scraped over his lower back, and in this state, so far gone, so drunk with lust, Levi wished they'd break his skin.

His eyes fluttered shut. He let it all wash over him. Erwin sliding against him over and over, dragging against his most sensitive parts again and again. They found a rhythm, slow at first and then increasing, movements becoming faster and then jerky, until they were rutting like crazed animals, room filled with their desperate noises. Whoever walked past Erwin’s door at this hour would know exactly what he was up to and with whom, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care. 

When it became too much and too little at the same time, Erwin reached behind Levi again and brought back his fingers slicked, wrapped his hand around the both of them. The oil made the glide easier, made Levi feel every vein of Erwin’s cock that much more distinctly. Erwin backed away a bit, just enough to be able to lean down to kiss him, more tongue than mouth, and then he started stroking.

Levi almost bit his tongue off. Erwin didn’t hold back, his grip just as forceful and unrelenting as before. Levi wrapped his hand around his wrist, not stopping but encouraging him. They were both getting close, their breaths coming in short bursts, labored, the heat becoming unbearable, pooling low. Levi drew back and opened his eyes to meet Erwin’s.

His jaw was slack, his red mouth opened. His eyes were half-closed and restless, and yet they bore right into Levi's soul. His whole face seemed to contort in pleasure, the sheen of sweat making him look like a drowning man. He sounded like it too, gasping and breathless. His head, shoulders and chest had blushed a bright red.

"Your face looks fucking weird," Levi told him.

Erwin began grinning wildly, almost maniacally.

"Yours looks fucking beautiful."

Levi wanted to cringe away from the honesty and affection in his voice, but instead, it pushed him over. Erwin, who had torn at him with gentle gazes and words, seemed to finally rip through his skin and claim a part of Levi as his own. With a low grunt and his hand tightened around Erwin's wrist, Levi came.

Erwin stroked him through the waves of pleasure, murmuring Levi’s name like a mantra. Levi’s heart ached with the intimacy of it. He wasn’t used to Erwin losing the grip on his countenance like this, the emotional openness, the physical and psychological closeness. It was too much. Levi wanted to tell Erwin to stop, but once their gazes met again, the potency of their crystalline bond knocked all the breath out of him. Erwin leaned forward, captured Levi in another frenzied kiss. Just a moment later Erwin’s body spasmed against him and then another squall of wetness coated his fingers and stomach. Erwin sighed with the release, one long, low sound against Levi’s mouth, and then he slacked, his hand falling away, his forehead resting against Levi’s.

“You can’t say shit like that to a man,” Levi said, still catching his breath.

Erwin chuckled. “But it’s true. You _are_ beautiful.”

“Yeah, and _you_ are—” Erwin interrupted him by pressing their lips together. It was a simple kiss, the heat of the moment gone with their release. But Erwin kissed him so gently that Levi couldn’t help but be in awe. It was a long kiss, a tender one, one that felt important after what had just happened. In it lay the whole depths of Erwin’s feelings, and all the things he wouldn’t voice, the things Levi wouldn’t let him say. Levi hadn’t realized, until this moment, precisely what they were, had avoided thinking about it. They had followed a trail through the dark woods together and only now did he realize what lay at the end of it, the truth of it clear and bright on the horizon. The knowledge didn’t scare him. It settled heavy but comfortable in his stomach. Not a burden; a thing meant to be there.

Erwin watched him closely, tracking his reaction. His smart brain reconstructed Levi’s thoughts bit by bit. Soon, realization started blooming in his clear blue eyes.

Levi dropped his gaze. “Get up. We’re fucking filthy and the sheets need changing.”

Levi turned around, sat up and stood. He wasn’t entirely sure on his feet yet, but he knew where to go. He wasn’t certain when it had happened, but at some point, every nook and cranny of Erwin’s room had become familiar to him. He retrieved a wooden basin, filled it with bottled water and wet a piece of cloth to clean himself up. When Erwin joined him and tried to take the cloth from him, Levi flicked his hand away. He caressed Erwin’s body with it, wiping away the stains on his chest and belly without hurry, water shining on his skin. He took Erwin’s hand between his own, washing his palm and digits thoroughly. He kept holding his hand for a moment, warm and heavy. 

Erwin squeezed. Levi squeezed back.

There was no need for words. 

He released Erwin to clean the rest himself. Levi started work on the bed, pulling off the dirty sheets to replace them with fresh ones. He was aware of Erwin’s eyes on him, doubtlessly enjoying the way he had to stretch over the bed naked to put on the linen. It didn’t surprise him, therefore, when two arms slung around him once he stood again. Erwin’s soft cock was perfectly placed in the crack of his ass, skin still damp. Levi wiggled experimentally and thought he felt a lazy twitch.

“Again?”

Erwin hummed against his neck. “I wish I could.”

The embrace lingered. Levi felt a powerful tiredness creep up on him, making him close his eyes.

“Come on,” he said. “It’s late.”

“Are you going to stay or will you return to the barracks?”

Levi had thought about it. He had never stayed the night before. It would look weird to his comrades if he were absent in the morning, not showing up for his usual early cleaning routine. It felt like another huge step. If he allowed himself to stay tonight, he would not be able to take it back. He’d give in easier each time.

“I should go.”

“You haven’t even had your tea yet,” Erwin said, pulling him even tighter.

“If you hadn’t been so busy staring at my ass like the disgusting old man that you are, maybe I’d actually have my tea now.”

“Too tempting to look away.” Erwin kissed his neck, giving Levi goosebumps. “Do you still want one?”

Levi huffed. “Forget about it. Just... fucking get into bed, it’s chilly.”

A second later, Levi’s feet were off the floor. He startled, but hit the ground again soon enough, landing on the bed, Erwin above him. He looked up at him grimly.

“You’re right, it’s chilly. Can’t risk you getting a cold by wandering around outside at this hour.”

Levi leaned back until his head rested on the pillow, giving in. He moved toward the wall, letting Erwin lay down next to him. It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable either. A part of him enjoyed being crowded in between the solid stone wall and Erwin’s warm body. It felt safe, though he wouldn’t admit it to Erwin.

Erwin lay facing him, but Levi wasn’t sure what to say. If there was anything to say. A moment of awkward silence passed.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Erwin asked, taking that burden from him. Even he sounded unsure.

“Tch. What did it look like? Thought you were the expert.”

“Mmh. Not that much of an expert.”

Levi shifted closer until they were touching again. He pulled up the blanket, a little too small to cover them both. Erwin wrapped his arm around him. With his head resting against Erwin’s chest, Levi closed his eyes.

“Tell me about it,” he said.

“Hm?” The sound resonated in Erwin’s throat, vibrating against Levi’s skull.

“Your experience.”

“There isn’t much to say. There was a girl when I was in training, Theresa. We liked each other well enough, but it was mostly curiosity that made us share a bed a couple of times. She was killed on her first expedition beyond the wall.”

Erwin said it with the same sympathy he awarded all his dead comrades. There was not a hint of personal investment in his voice. 

“Then I was preoccupied with my romantic interest for Marie for a while. And after I gave up on that, only one-time-things. Pickups in a bar when I was dragged along by friends. Attempts to feel… alive.”

“People in the barracks are fucking like crazy when we get back from beyond the walls. Shit’s annoying.”

Erwin started caressing Levi’s back. “It’s natural, I think. Survival instincts kicking in.”

“Animals, all of them.”

“You are different, of course.”

“ _This_ is different, isn’t it?” When Erwin didn’t answer, Levi continued: “Did you ever fuck a guy before?”

“I did not.”

“So it is different.”

Erwin thought about it for a while. “I don’t think it’s different because you are a man.”

Levi knew what he meant but he had no words to respond with. Emotions were a hard thing to grasp, and an even harder thing to talk about.

There was a thing on Levi’s mind, a thing he had meant to tell Erwin for a while now. He considered, but when he opened his mouth, the words came out almost on their own.

“I almost lost my virginity when I was 13.”

Erwin froze. The caressing touch on Levi’s back ceased mid-movement.

“I was being careless. Got cornered by a group of older guys. Two of them held me while the other slashed through my shirt with a knife. I’ll never forget the smell of his breath.”

“Levi,” Erwin said. He sounded utterly shocked.

Levi pressed on. He wanted to get it out of his system before he decided otherwise. “They told me, in great detail, what they had planned for me. When I stopped fighting back, they thought I had given up. Knocked the first one out with a kick to the face, got out of the other guys’ grip when he loosened it out of surprise. I grabbed the knife and slashed right through his throat. The other was smart enough to run for his life. First time I ever killed someone.”

Erwin pulled back from him, looked him down and held his gaze.

“I’m so sorry you had to live through that,” he said.

Levi shrugged. “I’ve seen much worse shit happen to other people. Taught me to be more careful.”

“Why—”

“I didn’t have to think about it tonight, with you. Just… thought you should know.” Levi said. He had never told anyone about this before. With Erwin though, honesty came easy. He wanted to be known by him, wanted his gaze to light the cavities of his mind, leaving nothing hidden. It was the trust that made him share, an addictive kind of trust he’d never felt before. Trust that he’d be understood. Trust that he’d be accepted. Trust that he’d be loved.

Erwin pulled him closer, slang both his arms around him. He rested his chin on Levi’s head. His embrace was careful, considerate, but at the same time, utterly protective. Levi got the message loud and clear.

_I’m here._

And that was enough for him. 

Erwin was here. And he still would be tomorrow when Levi woke up. The walls were standing. The titans were safely locked out.

Erwin was here. There was peace and beauty and hope. Even in this confined cage. Even for Levi.


End file.
